All Over the Grid

Yesterday was an experience in many ways. I don't know about you, but me? I just can't get everything done.

I did have a NEW experience yesterday that I wanted to tell you guys about: my first time on an elliptical machine. I've been having some foot pain, don't know exactly what's causing it, but I have decided that after running on Friday in my neighborhood, then having excruciating pain in my foot all weekend, running is just not for me. I'm really kind of sad about it, because I really feel like I was making progress and I can definitely tell I've lost weight. So, I wish I could keep running, but unless I can figure out a way to "channel my pain," it's just not going to happen. Enter the elliptical machine.

I've always heard what a good workout you get on the elliptical, but everytime I've tried it, I can only do it for, like, 1 minute. Now the elliptical workout may indeed be good, but let's face it: you can't go eat Mexican food if you only workout for 1 minute.

Nevertheless, putting the past behind me, I decided to make a concerted effort on the elliptical. I mean, I've been working out, lost some inches and weight, I'm sure it'll be much easier than before. Ha, ha, ha, ha! I really am funny...

I get on the elliptical, first of all and can't get it going. No lights on the dashboard thingy, and I can barely move the pedals. So, I go get the 8-year-old boy who works at the front desk of the gym to help. He jumps on the thing, starts practically running and gets it started right away. Then, he turns to me and says, "Yeah, these things are kinda hard to get going." That should've been a red, flashing light for me. And yet, I press on.

I finally get going and within my 1 minute benchmark, my quads are ON FIRE!! I mean, like Backdraft movie fire, OK? I find myself promising God that if I can just "stop this crazy thing," I will only eat Mexican food, like once a week. And yet,I press on. The other interesting thing is there was this lady on the elliptical next to me. She was probably late 50's or early 60's in age. She had her headphones on and was doing the exercise with her EYES CLOSED!! So, while I'm having leg cramps, bargaining with God, I'm also alert and ready to catch this lady with her eyes closed when she falls off the elliptical. Which I'm sure she will do because that's what would definitely happen if I tried to do it with my eyes closed. Anyway, I made 12 minutes. 12 minutes, people. But, I will say, I burned more calories than I ever did running for 12 minutes. I don't know if that matters...

THEN I ran to the store to pick up supplies for Riley's - that's Son, I'm tired of him not having a name - English project: making a map of the island from Lord of the Flies, which is the picture at the beginning of the post. (I know it looks like a question mark right now, but with paint and stuff it's gonna look like an island. I think.) Yep, picked up paint, paint brushes, the cream of tartar for the map. Everything except for SALT, which is a must for any SALT DOUGH MAP. The best part is that I didn't realize I didn't have enough salt until Riley and I are mixing up the recipe for the salt dough. Uh-huh...so we dart out in the rain to HEB for salt. With Riley driving. In the rain. Where's my glass of wine??

We make it back just in time to mix up the recipe. Then Riley made his map while we watched the debate. If that's what you want to call it. By the time it was over, I was about to have a nervous breakdown. Debate? How about two 5-year-olds arguing. I seriously wanted to send each of them to a time-out corner and hang a medal around the moderator's neck.

My take is this: Please, gentlemen, ACT LIKE GENTLEMEN! No one can understand anything either of you is saying when you're talking at the same time. Didn't your mothers ever teach you that? Give me a break. And that glass of wine, please.