Mowing Woes

I had to mow again.

It seems that between our family's social engagements and marching band practice, there is just no time this week for Son to do it. And, of course, I'm the likely replacement. Lucky me.

To make matters worse, it's the backyard that really needs to be mowed. The thing about the backyard is that it's huge, the land is uneven, thanks to losing trees during hurricanes, and the grass is splotchy in many areas. Now for some this would not be a problem. But for me, it is.

Son can mow the backyard in about 1.5 hours. I have no idea how. It usually takes me at least 2 hours, and that's if I don't have to stop to use the restroom. It's a huge undertaking for me, one that I am never truly prepared for.

I try to be positive when I start out. This is great exercise, I tell myself. After all it's a PUSH MOWER (see Small Town Fashion). If I get started early, it won't be too hot and I can finish quick. Except...no, it never really works out that way.

It takes only about 20 minutes for me to remember why I hate mowing the backyard. I'm already sweating to the point of dehydration and mowing over the same areas 5 times because I can't tell where I've already been. I'm so focused on trying to tell where I have and haven't mowed, I forget to watch out for the massive ANT COMPOUNDS, plural, we have in our backyard. So, now, I'm doing the ant dance and still unsure of where I have mowed. Repeat this process over and over again and you get just a glimpse of my mowing reality.

About an hour in, my legs are on fire from all the ants, I have shin splints from pushing the mower up the hilly part of the yard, and I'm light headed from lack of hydration. I'm just thinking to myself that I'm sure this is one of the ways people are tortured in hell, when I realize, I have to use the restroom.

Now the dilemma: if I turn off the mower to use the restroom, will I be able to start it again? How close am I to finishing, can I wait? These are important questions. My push mower is older than Son and not the easiest machine to use. I have to prime it, oh, 80 or so times just to start it at the beginning. Restarting it is even worse.

What to do, what to do? I finally decide, no I cannot wait to use the restroom, I have way too much mowing left to do, and having to restart the mower will build my faith AND my prayer life.

After about 2 hours and 15 minutes, I finally finished mowing the backyard. Hallelujah, pass the Advil.

Tomorrow: mowing the front yard. And the hits just keep on comin'!