My Absolute Hope

This post will not be a normal one, filled with slightly sarcastic wit and light-hearted humor. Not today. As I sit down to post, the tears have started again.

I do not have the words to express how utterly devastated I am over Friday's shocking events in Connecticut. I have cried more tears over complete strangers' families than I would have ever thought possible. Until this.

It's unfathomable to me to think that something like this could happen in an American elementary school. I just can't believe it. 20 kindergarteners. Beautiful boys and girls who will never see another birthday. Little girls who will never put on make-up for the first time or go to the prom. Little boys who will never play in a high school football game or ask a girl out on a date. They are gone, just gone. How can this be?

As a former teacher, I am shaken to my very core at the thought of having to deal with what took place on Friday in Newtown. Teachers feel an absolute responsibility for their students. And, in this day and age, just look at what that means. To think that in just minutes the lives of your students may be gone and there's nothing you can really do to stop it. You just hide and pray. And give your life, if it comes to that.

As a parent, I just don't have the words. I was literally sick at my stomach and fighting back tears while driving Riley to school today. It would be so easy to just live in fear now. Every day.

My take: Again, I am speechless. My heart aches for these families who have lost the most precious thing they have 10 days before Christmas. I don't know what to say, what to think, what to do, so I just pray for all of them. This will be a terrible week for Newtown, CT, as they bury their babies. Next week, Christmas, will be worse. I have so much to be thankful for. But, as I write these words, I just keep praying: God, please protect my son. Return him to me today. I haven't had enough time yet. Protect his school, our whole district, all of the districts across the state and the country. Protect our babies. Because YOU are the only one who really can.

So, that's what I do. I pray for these precious families and for my own. Because truly, God is my only hope. And at Christmas, that's what God did for us. He sent His Son and made a way for us to get through something like this. To have hope. He is my source, He is my protection. He is good and I trust Him. Even in the midst of chaos, when everything is upside down, He is my absolute hope.