CHRISTMAS EVE GIFT!!!! What, your family doesn't play the "CHRISTMAS EVE GIFT!" game? That's a shame. You're missing out on an extra present. You have to be the first person to say "CHRISTMAS EVE GIFT!" to someone, then they have to go out and buy you an extra gift. It's a favorite between my brother and I. We never agree on who wins.
My weekend was great! Friday we had a very successful Christmas candy and sweets baking day over at Mom's. My brother didn't help much. What else is new?
Then we watched 2 movies with my sister-in-law, Alexandrea. It was fun and relaxing.
Then on Saturday, I got my nails done, then Mom and I had lunch and did a little shopping. It was a wonderful day. We talked and talked until our tongues were worn out. We solved every problem we could think of, and wondered why we weren't in charge of the world. Our last stop of the day: "The Walmart." *sigh...and everything had been going so well...
Of course half of the population of Lumberton was in Walmart. OK. That might be a slight exaggeration. But, there were a lot of people. As mom and I got our separate shopping carts and forumlated our strategy to meet by the turkeys, I thought to myself, "It's 3 days til Christmas, I'm finally over my virus, I'm out in the hustle and bustle, my shopping is all but done, I'm going to be the nicest person in this store. I'm going to give-way to everyone I meet, smile, and say 'Merry Christmas.'"
And I did. Right up until the point that we got in line to check out. It was 5:40pm when we got in line. I know the exact time because I was picking up Charlotte at around 6, so I texted my daughter-in-law to tell her we were in line. No way we'd be late. Read on...
There were 2 people in line in front of us. Because Mom and I both (unfortunately) are frequent Walmart customers, we basically know who the best checkers are. One of our favorites is this older lady, very sweet and very quick. Except for today.
Some elderly lady was checking out. Bless her heart. I can't even begin to tell you what all the problems were. The ones I could hear included something about gift cards not activating correctly, something wasn't priced correctly, she couldn't remember her debit pin, winds were blowing from the south instead of the north, WHO KNOWS. But, it was taking forever...and I could feel my Christmas spirit beginning to wane...
The poor checker called a manager over at least twice. Mom and I were giving each other "that look." Then, I managed to comment on how the "poor checkers" were working so hard, blah blah blah, loud enough for those around me to hear, namely the couple behind me where the man looked like he might begin throwing his wife's eggs at people at any moment. Onward...
After about 20 minutes, yes 20 minutes, the elderly lady finally left, apologizing over her shoulder to all of us, along with the checker. Mom and I gave our best Christmas smiles and nods.
The lady in front of me went fairly quickly, and I felt encouraged. When it was my turn, I calmly told the checker just to breathe, everything was fine, ("You have to work til 11:00pm? Oh, my word! You're doing such a good job...") Mom was smiling and nodding...which is what she does when she can't hear what people are saying, but that's fine because the checker doesn't know this about Mom...
I was done in about 5 minutes. Time for Mom. The first issue she had was that the gift cards she was trying to buy wouldn't activate correctly either. So now the checker, our new BFF, was trying to explain it to Mom, who can't hear, and apologizing about, oh, 25 times. Finally, after I'm trying to snatch the stupid gift cards out of her hand, and saying, "It's fine. We'll go somewhere else. No, we don't need to go to Customer Service. It's fine, really it's fine," she moves on. To the bacon...
The bacon wasn't priced. See, the bacon wasn't priced. It.Wasn't.Priced. I was standing off to the end of the conveyor belt when I saw the clerk's hand was moving toward the button to turn on the flashing light for a manager. It was like it was in slow motion. I moved toward her, shaking my head violently, when Mom realized what she was doing and started to lunge toward her as well. But, alas, we were too late. On goes the flashing "8" light for our register. Mom looked at me as if she'd been kicked in the stomach, then looked at the man behind her in line, who is now eating some of the groceries from his basket. She then turned to the checker, began waving her arms crazily in the air, saying, "I don't even WANT the bacon. Really, I don't. I don't want it. I don't need it, do I?" turning to me for support.
I agreed and thought, "Well played, Mom. Now, we're out of here." But...no...
The clerk says, "Oh, no it's really no trouble. It'll only take a few minutes..."
...to walk to the BACK of the store, wading through the throngs of people, to find bacon that IS priced, when "we don't even WANT it in the first place." Thanks, from the bottom of my heart...so long, Christmas spirit.
Needless to say, Mom's checking out took another 20 minutes, for a grand standing-in-line-total of 45 minutes. And we were late picking up Charlotte after all. All because of the bacon. That we didn't even WANT.
Fa-la-la-la-la,la-la-la-la. Love ya, Christmas!
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